Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
third nipple confirmed
Randomize
