I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize