Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
