Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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