....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
