I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
