I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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