Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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