this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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