I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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