id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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