i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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