Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
