awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
