Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
