u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
