masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Enjoy the penises
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
