So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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