In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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