After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
