ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
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