Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize