i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
