Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You made out with two different species that night
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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