dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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