i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
