i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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