Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
