If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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