First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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