Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
