i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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