I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Welp...herpes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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