Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
