just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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