No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
