His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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