If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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