Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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