i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
