So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
