wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
