Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
