fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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