I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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