he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
