as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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