So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
