Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
