You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My bed smells like the plague
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
