forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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