I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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