he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
