so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
