She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
