So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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