Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Randomize
