i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize